lunes, febrero 09, 2009

Un cafelillo

Hacer, lo que se dice hacer, hacía un frío de cojones en Madrid, para qué nos vamos a engañar, pero aún así no he dudado un segundo esta mañana al pasar por la cafetería “La Conciencia” en sentarme en una de las mesas libres de la terraza – libres estaban todas, dicho sea de paso – para tomarme un café bien calentito que me entonara el cuerpo.

Voy y le digo al camarero que un café con leche, por favor, ante lo cual el camarero me sale, con su melodioso acento de allende los mares, con el acostumbrado y consabido planteamiento de que si la leche fría, templada o caliente, no se le ocurre otra cosa.

Calentita, calentita, que hace un frío que pela.

“No hacemos otra cosa que crearnos y crearnos problemas nosotros mismos para después dedicar el resto de nuestras vidas a tratar de solucionarlos de mala manera, con el consiguiente desperdicio de tiempo y recursos que ello conlleva, por no hablar del desgaste que asimismo supone todo ello”, va y me suelta el camarero antes de mostrar cualquiera otra reacción ante mi petición. Con lo cual, claro, quédome de piedra, y con la duda de si se estará refiriendo a mi absurdo y contradictorio comportamiento de sentarme a la intemperie con el frío que hace para posteriormente tratar de elevar la temperatura corporal con el recurso del cafelillo o sí, cosa bien distinta, tratárase de hacer referencia al dichoso entramado de asuntos varios que atenaza gargantas y aflige pensamientos en filas populares, vete tú a saber.

Pocos segundos más tarde, o lo que es lo mismo, en un abrir y cerrar de ojos, va y me planta el café, cosa que agradezco, lo del escaso tiempo transcurrido, debido a la cada vez más insoportable corriente de aire gélido que atraviesa el callejón en el que se halla ubicada la terraza, que hay que ver lo duro que resulta el largo invierno en las calles de Madrid, especialmente el que nos ocupa.

Tras degustar el café ya no calentito, sino más bien hirviendo, de un solo trago con la consiguiente sensación de abrasamiento en faringe, esófago y estómago - apostaría algo a que por ese mismo orden - requiero de nuevo la grata presencia del irónico camarero con la única intención de satisfacer mis deudas pendientes para con el establecimiento. “¿Y a cuánto asciende la cantidad en débito correspondiente a la amortización de la deuda contraída debido a la ingesta de la consumición degustada?”, le suelto yo a él, al camarero, no sé si tratando de intimidarle con mi pedantería o de resultas de que no me puedo quitar de la cabeza últimamente la dichosa crisis económica y financiera que tortura y tiene en un sinvivir a las huestes socialistas, y a la ciudadanía toda, por añadidura.

¿A la cuenta se refiere?, me dice. Pues sí, le digo. A lo cual me contesta que uno con veinte, y yo voy y le suelto que imposible, que sólo dispongo de setenta céntimos sueltos, por lo que me veo entonces en la obligación de satisfacer la deuda mediante la utilización de tarjeta de crédito con fecha de caducidad libre de toda sospecha. Que imposible, me dice él también, porque da la casualidad de que en la cafetería en la que trabaja por un mísero sueldo debido a su condición de inmigrante no se admiten pagos con tarjeta que no sean iguales o superiores a los diez euros, no sabe cómo lo lamento.

¿Por aquello de las comisiones?, pregunto yo con mi aire de analista financiero de la Morgan Stanley del que llevo un buen rato haciendo gala sin corresponder ello ni un ápice a una situación real. Vaya usted a saber, me contesta él con sus ínfulas de camarero de allende los mares, no sé si reales o fingidas. Pues a ver cómo lo hacemos, añado yo. Pues a ver, concluye él.

Total, que le largo al fin la tarjeta bancaria con desdén y le digo que me cobre los referidos diez euros y santaspascuas, que qué se le va a hacer, que a usted le aproveche, aunque servidor se vaya a acordar del dichoso café por el resto de sus días con sus consabidas noches.

“Y lo peor de todo - va y me dice con conspicuo ademán, el tío– es que al final no hay nada que más felices nos haga que considerarnos cómplices de la felicidad ajena cuando nuestra propia existencia no deja de estar marcada por la mediocridad y el sufrimiento más absolutos y no somos capaces de mover un dedo por el prójimo si ello supone al tiempo un verdadero inconveniente para con nosotros”.

Una vez firmado el justificante del pago, me voy de allí con el rabo entre las piernas y más helado de lo que llegué, pensando fríamente, tal y como lo requiere la mañana, en lo de los datos del paro y en la propuesta de abaratamiento del despido tendida sobre la mesa, y con el remordimiento dando vueltas en mi cabeza por no haber dejado al final en el ocioso platillo ni un mísero céntimo de propina.

101 comentarios:

JOAKO dijo...

¡Un café a 10 euracos!
y encima te sientes culpable de no dejar propina, luego lo leo otra vez, creo que no me he enterao.

Estilografic.blog dijo...

Joako: se trata de una metáfora metafórica, hombre, que en realidad quiere decir que... no tengo ni idea de qué quiere decir.

marisa bop dijo...

Pues creo que es mejor hacer algo por los demás (por poco que sea) que no hacer nada pensando que es poco. Ya me rallé. Si es lo que yo digo: estos fríos no pueden ser buenos.
Abrígate Estili y tómate el cafetito en casa.
Un beso.

Belén dijo...

Poca conciencia tienen los protagonistas de tu post... entre unos y los otros...

Besicos

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Bueno, todo es según cómo se mire.
Si nos fijamos en que el café te ha costado 10 euros es la hostia de cara.
Pero si lo miramos como que has sido intervenido con una perfecta cauterización del tracto digestivo por SOLO 10 euros, me parece la hostia de barato.
Eso sí, ya verás como se entere la Aguirre, lo rapidito que lo utiliza en la Sanidad Pública, perdón, quise decir privada.
Besitos/azos.

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Te leí ayer pero no supe qué comentario dejarte, sinceramente.

1- el mismo que Joako.

2- u otro para maldecir a toda la purria que gobierna este país bananero llamado España.

Hoy decido pasar a saludarte, anunciarte que ha subido bastante la temperatura ambiental, y que en casa tenemos un par de termos; por si quieres que te prestemos uno, digo. Lo llenas con un buen café con leche hecho en casa y te lo tomas allí donde más te apetezca por el módico precio de 0 euros.

¿Hace?
:)

Besines

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Marisa: esta mañana me lo he tomado en casita, sí señora, por lo que pudiera pasar.

Belén: si es que ni con-ciencia ni sin-ciencia, tienen nuestros males remedio, me temo.

Mariano zurdo:
Cauterizado me hallo
y hago de mi capa un sayo

Irre: es que se trataba de un post que lo único que pretendía era eso, reflejar una situación de desconcierto que me parece que está viviéndose en la política, en la sociedad y en nosotros mismos. O a lo mejor no, yo qué sé. ¿Sabes lo que te digo? que me sirvo de tu termo y acompaño el cafelillo calentito con unos cruasancitos que están de muerte. ¿Gustas?

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Sevilla? En el 92? Ya sé donde se cruzaron nuestros karmas.
Sí, ya sé que este tema es el de el blog de Mariano pero es que vengo de allí y aún me dura el shock

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Vitru: Yo ahora tengo un Mazda, y en el 92 tenía un Ford, así que imposible que tu Karma se cruzara con el mío por las calles de Sevilla y olé.

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Te voy a ser sincera; Te he leído y me he quedado pillada pillada. Luego he pensado: No estoy segura de lo que quiere decir este buen hombre, pero espero que no esté inspirado en hechos reales, más que por los 10 euros por lo de sentarse en una terraza con el frío que hace...Bien, dispuesta estaba a comentar cuando comienzo a mirar los comentarios y veo que el resto de tus querido lectores aun han alucinado más que yo con el post ( menos Joako, pero algo se olía el hombre tb....), visto lo cuel iba a hacer un comentario gracioso en lugar del anteriormente pensado.. cuando lego al último y leo aterrorizada que tienes un Mazda..... Ahí si me ha dado el pánico y me he cortocircuitado y no he sabido qué decir, así que he tirado de archivo BUPiniano y me he visto en la obligación de hacer un breve resumen acompañado de una escueta opinión personal: Cambia de coche.
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Wen: pues yo estoy la mar de contento con mi Mazda, después de haber tenido además malas experiencias con coches anteriores. Éste no me ha dado ni un problema hasta la fecha, y toco madera.

Además, mujer, no están las cosas ahora para cambiar de coche. Éste ya tié que ser pa toda la vida.

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